Here I am lying sprawled, naked and angry amongst a group of strangers who have no inclination of what I am going through. No, I am not a part of a Satanic ritual, though it felt exactly like that at that point of time. I am here to deliver my first born.
Aren’t I supposed to be ecstatic and have tears like Jaya Prada, the yesteryear actress, who depicted the epitome of motherhood? I had tears – oh ya. I did. Angry tears. How dare they take away my dignity? But then, I was helpless. The kiddo had decided to come out, at that particular moment and then changed his mind. My water had burst and he was not in a comfortable position to be in. Frankly, I didn’t care. Where was ME in all this equation. My MIL and Mom were outside disturbing all the Gods with their auricular prayers, my DH was a nervous wreck- he really chooses his moments to become robotic and the hordes of friends who had come to visit me -to support me, had turned the event into a freaking kitty party.
The doctors face loomed above me. He really looked like Shakti Kapoor on a raping rampage. His telescopic face was soon joined in by the kind nurse and then the party began. Can you believe they had students in the OT to teach them how to do a C-Section? Can this incident be noted down in the record of motherhood as my contribution to science? I did fall in love with a guinea pig at that moment.
And then he arrived. Everything was quiet at first. The eerie kind of quiet. The anticipated wait for a massive event to take place kind of quiet. The silence was shattered by a shrill, angry wail of the little one. He sounded so angry. Here I was - cut open with my intestines hanging out and he was angry. Bloody MCP!
The doctor was beaming. He could afford to. Another feather in his cap. I just hoped he did not forget to sew me up. I needn't have worried for they were very efficient in this Cheshire Hospital.
The little bundle was soon handed to me. The Doctor was worse then my MIL. Could he not wait for me to heal before I started my earthly duty? And then I saw him. The tiny face -still covered with gooey slimes. My first thoughts were - he needs a shave!
Then before I could understand, those tiny eyes opened and stared straight at me. And he winked! Shit.. I am in love.